There is an element of mysteriousness to NHL bubble life. Limited access to players means reporters and fans are left to see what teams post on their own social media channels and what they discuss in the near-daily team press conferences on Zoom.
Is this preferable to in-person access? Of course not. But we’re in the middle of a pandemic, and if you spend enough time digging through the press conferences, you can still learn a fair bit about each team’s approach, and some of the unique personalities.
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We know you don’t have enough time to do that, so we’re taking on that task. We’re watching nearly every Zoom media availability to bring you the most colourful, lighthearted and hopefully the most memorable quotes from the interviews during these Stanley Cup playoffs. Borrowing from the late, great Jason Botchford, we’re bringing them to you in an homage to The Athletties we’re calling The Zoomies.
Check back every Friday for the latest edition of The Zoomies, and make sure you’re getting outside and enjoying some sun for our sake.
Most interesting non-story: Let’s start with some breaking news: the New York Islanders are the clear front runners for the award for most notable Zoom paradox.
You see, Islanders captain Anders Lee has worn a retro Islanders hat in post-game Zoom appearances. It’s a great look and an even better break from the monotony of the team-issued gear we usually see post-game from players.
Elite hat from Anders Lee pic.twitter.com/vHC7ZstQH4
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) August 12, 2020
But let’s not start pumping the Islanders tires with their fashion choices just yet. I am here to report that the Islanders may have a hat crisis on their hands.
The most common attire for a Zoom pre-game or off-day Zoom call has been a plain t-shirt and a backwards baseball cap. Players from around the league have made that the standard look, with the odd hoodie thrown in. No issues there, as it’s both an easy look to pull off and provides for maximum comfort.
Hats have been near uniform, and you would think, given Lee’s post-game attire, the same would hold true for the Islanders.
But going back to the beginning of the qualification round, only one Islander has appeared in a hat in a pre-game or off-day Zoom availability: Forward Casey Cizikas, who sat in a black hat beside Cal Clutterbuck.
Believe me, I checked.
Here’s Scott Mayfield and Jordan Eberle without caps.
Here’s Brock Nelson and Jean-Gabriel Pageau staring off into the distance, dreaming about their cap collection sitting and collecting dust.
Here’s Adam Pelech and Nick Leddy, also without hats.
So what’s going on here? Is this a Lou Lamoriello rule?
An Islanders representative did not respond to a request for comment about the Islanders Zoom availability dress code, and I can completely understand why. It is a silly question to ask midway through the playoffs.
But I can’t be the only one who feels like the NHL’s lack of a dress code in the bubble isn’t producing the most divergent of results. Teams make their own dress codes, but if a hat is what’s considered pushing the boundaries here, there’s still a long way to go, no?
Best goodbye: John Tortorella may be gone from the playoffs, but he’s not forgotten. Since the last Zoomies, the Columbus Blue Jackets were eliminated from the playoffs, and that means no more incredibly brief and incredibly tense media availabilities with the Blue Jackets coach.
Tortorella’s reaction to a question below could have come from multiple availabilities.
Tortorella’s final Zoom availability after the Blue Jackets’ 5-4 overtime loss in Game 5 against the Lightning produced less than one minute of answers for two questions.
“You know what guys, I’m not going to get into the touchy feely stuff and the moral victories and all that. You guys be safe,” said Tortorella to answer his final question. He then got up and left the podium, taking with him a manner to answer questions unlike any other in the NHL.
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Look, I get it: Some people despise the way Tortorella treats the media, who have an obligation to ask coaches questions after games, with what seem to be purposefully brief answers. Coaches have an obligation to answer for their team’s performance, like it or not.
But in a league so absent of characters who stray from the script, Tortorella’s approach is just flat out entertaining, albeit from afar.
I do not envy the writers who have to rely on Tortorella post-game for answers, though I do suspect he makes transcribing a breeze.
In a way, Tortorella’s Zoom availabilities embody the Blue Jackets approach on the ice: no nonsense, to the point, and not always pleasing to watch.
Anyway, before Tortorella completely fades from your memory, here were my top 5 favourite answers from him throughout these playoffs (and I’m probably missing some):
5. Tortorella was asked what happened in the final four minutes of regulation in Game 4 of the qualifying round against the Leafs when the Blue Jackets surrendered three goals: “Just what you said, Dave, I’m not going to explain it.”
4. The Athletic’s Aaron Portzline asked him about making changes in the lineup: “Just trying to throw it against the wall and see what sticks.”
3. Brian Hedger of the Columbus Dispatch asked him about his team’s need to get to the front of the net: “We need to work on everything, Hedge.”
2. After the Blue Jackets’ 3-0 loss to the Toronto Maple Leafs in Game 2 of the qualifying round, Tortorella took the first question in a different direction: “I’m not going to break the game down at all. Toronto played a really good game and we sucked.”
1. After the five-overtime loss in Game 1 against the Lightning, he was asked whether his team’s ability to bounce back is part of what they rely on: “Yep.”
Best chance to sneak in a “Dumb and Dumber” reference: Speaking of people who say a lot by not talking very much, Washington Capitals goalie and upcoming UFA Braden Holtby’s answer about whether he had just played his last game for the Capitals after they were eliminated by the Islanders was brief, but revealing: “(There’s) certainly a chance it is. Who knows. You live one day at a time and go from there.”
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The safe bet anytime a pending UFA is asked about his future after they’re eliminated from the playoffs is on some variation of, “I’ll take some time and deal with that decision when the time comes.” That’s how you quell speculation.
But kudos to Holtby for not hiding from the facts: There’s always a chance, even in the NHL, that UFAs walk from their current team.
Best Letterkenny reference: In the last Zoomies, I pointed out how Islanders forward Anthony Beauvillier took exception to a question over whether he still gets star struck by players like Alex Ovechkin in the NHL. He deflected and pointed out how he gets star struck by his teammate, Jordan Eberle.
What a teammate.
And so when fellow Islanders forward Josh Bailey was asked about what it’s been like to play with Beauvillier, he was effusive with his praise.
Beauvillier scored two goals in a 4-0 win over the Capitals in Game 5. He’s having a breakout postseason with nine points in nine games and sits second on the Islanders in scoring.
“It’s been a lot of fun to play with him. He’s really stepped up his game. He’s been a big leader for us. Scored some big goals. Just that second goal, paying the price, getting to the net, he’s doing a lot of things well, it’s a lot of fun to play with him,” said Bailey.
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words, as evidenced by Bailey’s subtle fist bump. I’ve watched a lot of these Zoom calls, and few people seem to be having more fun right now than Beauvillier.
Upon further review, I’m going to assume Beauvillier isn’t just having fun, but paying homage to one of the crown jewels of current Canadian comedy, “Letterkenny.” Check out how he perfectly executes what the gang would call “Low bones,” and Cizikas loses his mind.
Is everyone on the Islanders in on this Letterkenny inside joke? I’m staying clued for him to drop “Ferda” on an upcoming Zoom availability.
Best non-compliment: On the other end of the spectrum, here’s how you avoid giving your teammate praise in the kindest possible way: Dallas Stars goalie Anton Khudobin was in no mood to heap praise on Denis Gurianov after his second period hat trick propelled the Stars to a 7-3 win over the Calgary Flames in Game 6 of the Western Conference First Round.
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Khudobin was asked what it’s like to face Gurianov in practice.
“I’m yelling at him all the time,” Khudobin, deadpanned, barely cracking a smile, “hit the net, or don’t hit me.”
“Or don’t hit the glass,” added Gurianov.
“He (shoots) pretty hard, but sometimes I have a little stinger on my shoulder so I just yell at him: Shoot the puck with a good shot,” said Khudobin, before shrugging.
Best excuse to dig into Aerosmith’s catalogue: Jon Cooper treated a question from NHL.com’s Mike Zeisberger with a smile.
“What’s going on, Z?” asked Cooper.
Zeisberger noted Cooper’s Aerosmith shirt, to which Cooper chimed in with insight on another element of bubble life that players and coaches are likely dealing with.
“I’m running out of clothes,” said Cooper.
In the absence of a follow-up question about Cooper’s apparent love of Aerosmith, why don’t we do a bit of guessing ourselves and ask: Which Aerosmith song best defines the Lightning under Jon Cooper?
“Dream On” feels like the kind of song that might hit Cooper on a personal level with every Lightning playoff exit.
“Every time when I look in the mirror/All these lines on my face getting clearer/The past is gone/It went by, like dusk to dawn.”
Or could it be 1974’s “Seasons of Wither,” which, to me, speaks to the fact that an incredibly talented Lightning team continue to get close, but have yet to win a Stanley Cup?
“In time bound to lose your mind/Live on borrowed time/Take the wind right out of your sail.”
Or what about “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” as an ode to Lightning defenceman Victor Hedman? This last line would sum up how I’d feel as a coach if I was able to send Hedman out on the ice every night.
“I could spend my life in this sweet surrender/I could stay lost in this moment forever/Cause every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.”
That silence you hear is Joe Smith not returning my Slack DM to see if he wants to collaborate on a 20,000-word story comparing the entire Lightning roster to Aerosmith songs. Dream On, indeed.
Best snack: From what we’ve heard of life in the bubble, there’s no shortage of great dining options available.
But for Colorado Avalanche forward Tyson Jost, who was born in St. Albert, Alberta, just northwest of Edmonton, nothing will beat his family’s home cooking.
Asked about what it’s like staying in a bubble environment so close to home, Jost said his family members have “definitely made their presence felt.”
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“I get meals almost every other night from different family members,” said Jost, with a smile. “They’re spoiling me.”
Jost likened the deliveries to his teammates getting meals delivered from a food delivery service. He said his mom, who works in downtown Edmonton, will swing by the hotel to drop off some gluten-free, dairy-free almond butter cookies from his grandmother.
“My grandma loves to cook,” said Jost. “And she’s really good at it too.”
The cookies also have a fan in Avalanche defenceman Ian Cole, though he warned about the effects.
“(Jost) is gonna be 230 when we roll out of this bubble,” said Cole.
“They’re keeping things interesting,” added Jost of his family members and the food they deliver, including “healthy cakes.”
“It’s a little touch of home away from home,” said Jost.
Best way to burst a bubble: There’s always going to be an update on life in the bubble in the Zoomies.
For those who haven’t seen it, I encourage you to check out Dallas Stars head coach Rick Bowness’s thoughts on life in the bubble, all of which can be found here courtesy of our own Sean Shapiro:
“You know what, let me say something. People don’t understand how hard it is, this bubble. It’s great that we’re playing and the league is back, but it’s tough. I think that game, it was a mess from both sides. It’s tough to explain, but I don’t think people understand how tough it is living in this bubble.”
Lightning defenceman Ryan McDonagh also shared his thoughts on bubble life, which might have flown under the radar a bit: “We’re over three weeks here in the bubble, and you’re getting mentally tested, if not more physically tested. With everything going on, your focus is on hockey and your job there, but you’re also a husband and a father too and you’re trying to do your job there and support your family. And keep in touch and stay in the loop with everything that’s going on. It’s a constant battle. But the only thing that you keep telling yourself is you’re not the only one going through that and there’s a greater goal out there that we’re all striving for. That’s something we talked about in camp as a group: You don’t get too many opportunities to compete for the Stanley Cup. This situation, in our minds, is no different as far as the opportunity goes.”
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The longer the playoffs go on, the more I sympathize with players who are away from friends and family in such a challenging and uncertain time, and how difficult it would be for people in the bubble who lean on those close to them for support.
Wherever you stand on this, it’s probably worth including Golden Knights coach Peter DeBoer’s thoughts on the bubble as he tried to bring a bit of levity to an obviously difficult situation.
“You have good days and bad days,” said DeBoer. “It’s definitely not normal life. At the same time, we try to remind ourselves every day to embrace it. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime. Even on the worst day in here, there’s all the hockey you can watch and all the beer you can drink, so it’s not a bad day.
(Top photo: Mark Blinch / NHLI via Getty Images)
